Home Is Where He Is Abby Sheets on Saturday, September 25, 2010 at 11:59pm
This past week has been good for me. I have met wonderful people that I can call my friends and at just the perfect time while Joseph is away. God is so amazing, thats just how he works. My biggest fear is being alone, with no one to turn to if I need someone to talk to, vent to, hang out with, keep me sane, hold my heart together. In same way, shape or form through this whole military business, I have been blessed enough to find the support I need. I can say I am "home sick" but the truth is, it doesn't feel like home if Joseph isn't there.
I sometimes wonder if I am strong enough to live this lifestyle, not knowing when my husband may have to work weekends, or week days strait, or being here without him for months due to deployment. That is when my support system kicks in and brings me back to my senses. Of course I can do this, I have been doing it for almost three years. You aren't human if you do not doubt yourself once in a while, at least thats what i've heard.
Hawaii, everyone says it paradise. Well let me tell you about paradise, lol. It feels just like Kansas in most aspects. I cook, clean, do laundry, do homework, hang out with friends, enjoy time with my husband when he isn't working, yep thats just what I did in Kansas. Only difference is, I miss my family a lot and my friends, some whom I haven't been separated from since middle school. And the other definite changes being, I can go to beach, swim, snorkel, go fishing, etc. when ever I have free time. And yes that is what most of you think of when you think of Hawaii. Not the normal stuff :)
I have learned a lot since moving to Hawaii as well. Did you know that marriage is work?? Haha, ok so I knew that before we moved here. But a lot has came to me that I didn't see as clearly back home with so many others around me. I now know what is like to fully depend on my husband for every part of my life, financially, emotionally, and physically to have someone to hang out with. I had never moved anywhere before where I only had one person to depend on for everything. We have definitely learned that we have to be more patient, flexible and easy going.
Job...uhhh what job!? Yes, it is so hard to get a job here. I have never had so much trouble getting a job. Part time, full time, flex, on call, anything I would take at this point to cure my boredom and OCD lol. I am used to having a schedule. And I also felt like I was contributing more to the bank when I went to work. I have even tried using spousal preference for on post jobs and after all these months and applying for jobs, I have had one interview. But I stick to the theory, everything happens for a reason!
To be honest I am in the position now as I was then. I still have great friends and family to depend to keep my life stable when my husband can't be here. There are def things from year to year that I am glad have changed but having an amazing support system is something I wouldn't mind keeping forever!
Today is my husbands birthday and it really stinks that I can't even send him a text, a phonecall, an email, anything to let him know I am thinking of him. Even though he hates his birthday because he thinks he is getting old HAHA. It may sound weird and unreasonable but I already feel like we are growing old together. When I met Joe i was still considered a teenager :) now look at us going on 3 years later.